Change weapon to gun and it’s absolute perfection.
Ossifer.
If you tell them you’re a sovereign nation under international maritime law, they have to immediately let you go.
“Do you know how fast you were going?”
“50 knots”
You have to find out beforehand if the flag in the local courthouse has gold frills on the edges.
What seems to be the officer problem?
“I haven’t had a cunt all day, Drinkstable.”
Plata e plomo?
O
Police: “How high are you?”
Driver: “It’s hi, how are you”
When you’re too high to even realize that the words are in that order, so you just say “Hi, I’m doing pretty good! How about you?”
“That’s Mister Freeze to you, bub!”
Was that ever in a Batman iteration?
Because it damn well should be canon!
Now that I think about it, it’s kind of weird that he doesn’t want to be called Dr. Freeze.
Could be he’s a bit like Two Face.
Once he was Dr. Frees, Ph. D. and now he’s Mr. Freeze!
keeping his identity secret!
“You had to have been doing at least a hundred to catch me. Don’t you know that’s dangerous?”
“That was fun! Wanna go again?”
“Don’t you know I have places to be? Now, are you finished or are you done?”
“Fuck, Larry, every time we get high I start hallucinating that you’re a cop.”
“Your eyes look a little red. Have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?”
Then he cries over his divorce, you comfort him and he lets you go scot free.
“Don’t be a hero.”
JFC, how to get shot in less than 5 seconds. I love it.
For best effect, hold your right arm perpendicular to the car door, hand out of sight. Look 'em right in the eye and deadpan the delivery.
With any luck they’ll back away to draw their gun, and step in front of a bus. Then you get a free gun.
Also a free bus.
“I’ve only had teen martoonis!”
I lost my job for no reason or rhyme. Guess that means it’s marti time!
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I recall an Insane Clown Posse skit/track where the officer asks Shaggy2Dope something like, “And where are we going today in such a hurry?”
And Shaggy replied, “Up your Ma’s ass”.
Which I thought was somewhat amusing, given police pulling people over would only ever receive polite responses from drivers.
