Read the room, dude. This person is from the UK. They use metres over there, not feet.

“Get off the phone. Get off… the… phone!”

It only got a short mention by Colin Jost at the top of Weekend Update:

Trump has not yet won the Nobel Peace Prize, but he did win the equally prestigious Soccer Peace Prize.

FIFA actually invented a fake peace prize in Trump’s honor, and that’s why the trophy shows Trump’s gnarled hands dragging Earth into Hell.

The Music Dance Experience is officially cancelled.

DADADUMDIDDYDUMDIDDYDUMDIDDYDADADA

Of course the mascot is a cartoon bear.

The Jewish guy is the ham?

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

The Internet Archive isn’t a website host, but it certainly does all those other things.

I assume you do, in fact, encounter crack at that point.

I took this photo in Queens, New York. It seems the unnecessary quotes stretch from sea to shining sea.

What is this, corn for ants?

The thread revealing that Epstein was employing Al Seckel to do SEO and bury negative info about him online (while complaining about what Seckel was charging him for the service) is interesting. Seckel referring to editing Wikipedia in Epstein’s favor as “we hacked the site” earns eye rolls.

https://jmail.world/thread/HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_022226

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red, my father fell in love with her and soon they, too, were wed…

Someone censored the license plate just in case this person is too shy to have their political views publicly known.

As a New Yorker, I can confirm that I’m extremely erect disappointed.

Also, shouldn’t he be Adult Rock by now?

Embroidery can really look like this with the right thread used on heavy enough material with strong enough backing fabric behind it, at least when brand new. Check out any photo of racks of new hats in the shop.

That bunching up around the embroidery often happens over time as the hat is worn and things expand/contract differently with temperature and moisture variances.

She reportedly carried a five-pound note specifically to put in the donation basket at church on Sunday. The note had been ironed by her butler into a little folded square so that only her face showed.

Mom walked in without knocking and caught me rolling that beautiful bean footage.

I didn’t even have the moldy bread. I just made my entire project up off the top of my head the night before. It was some rubbish about running different batteries down on light bulbs and tracking their life spans.