I was fucking a girl in the ass once and a hard chunk of shit fell onto the floor.

I had no idea what to do, and I kind of panicked and just kind of kicked it under her bed and kept going. I figured that was the best possible outcome for all involved.

We weren’t together for that long. I do wonder when or if she found it.

“I’ll give you something to cry about!”

Fuuuuck u

The optimal solution to the trolley problem is always the one that makes the least sense because the more chaos injected into any system the less predictable the results will be.

So I pull it, kill the other person at the second lever, and drag throw the person from the first set of tracks to the place where the train switches tracks. wrench the lever free from the top part and place it on the tracks where the train would switch too.

Fucked if I know what the outcome is.

You may now retire and live out your golden years with pride

Let’s blow stuff up. That always fixes things.

But DoGeeseSeeGos, my wife’s boyfriend says these are stupid, and that they are kind of gay. As I am deeply insecure about my heterosexuality, and need to need to project an aura of insecure masculinity at all times, will these products turn me gay?

But DoGeeseSeeGos, how do I really know if butt nutts are for me? After all, everything you’re saying sounds too good to be true.

MTG vs. AOC.

I’d tune in to watch that.

You didn’t but you made a valiant effort… I commend you.

The corn crab always comes through. In blackest most cornless night he brings the corn when no other other could.

Marty me, corn crab, and provide for me many wonderful crab corn person children.

This sounds like an awful situation, and my heart goes out to you both.

I know many people that are struggling right now have found that smoking crack really helps their situation, and this could end up being just what she needs in these trying times.

My spoon is too big.

I don’t know if all the horrendous shit I see happening in the US right now is happening in New York but it doesn’t seem so.

Something tells me New Yorkers wouldn’t put up with any of that shit lying down.

Racist jokes are often hillarious.

You don’t make racist jokes because they’re not funny. You don’t make racist jokes because they’re racist and dehumanizing.

A joke doesn’t don’t stop being funny because it’s racist, but it does become dehumanizing and reflects very poorly on whoever is telling the joke. It also signifies a lack of wit because racist jokes are often very, very easy most of the time.

It’s not that someone telling a racist joke isn’t funny. It’s that they’re also a piece of shit.

I think

That

Deez nutz

Are very funny

If you find it hard to

Laugh

Laugh at deez nutz

It’s hard, but not impossible to piss with a hardon.

“Bro toss some more diamonds and emeralds in the crucible”

You can melt down jewels now?

CUM

Pregnant, not pregnant, old, young, born, unborn, man, woman, reverse centaur, drew barrymore doesn’t give a shit. If it breathes and walks on two legs she’ll eat it live on the internet.