As I finish preparing their food and cleaning their litterbox I see one of our two cats puke in our hallway. Alright, gotta clean that. I get my supplies and on my way I step into the real puke puddle. The other one was just a decoy.

I’m allergic to cats.

Wouldn’t know what else people are supposed to play while banging their cousin in their pick-up truck.

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There’s many cities like this. I remember reading about Mexico City being on a similar path. Ground water keeps sinking rapidly so they keep digging until some day they won’t be able to and it’s all fucked.

It was baaa-aaaa-aaaad

So…how did you become turkeys most successful furry escort, Mr. Kazuk?

It’s a long story. [throws away his cigarette and puts wolf masks on] Let’s get this over with.

This an open letter to Argentina? These are dark times we’re living in, Argentina. Make your flag sad.

Look at this entry for the NZ flag referendum entry from 2015. That’s a modern flag design fitting of our current times.

What is that, three bananas?

supporting himself part-time as a kitchenware courier

is that even a real thing?

Alright Billy, if you punch your sister one more time you’re going to the jerk hut and if the men who’re in there to jerk it molest you that’ll be on you!

Ye know, a goon cave.

I better not wear my Allah loves to scissor shirt in Morocco then.

Let those kids sign up for ICE, get the 50k sign up bonus and then deport themselves away from this shit show.

And “go kick cocks”.

If I lost my job in IT now I legitimately would rather retrain to become a plumber. Less shit to deal with than going through recruitment.

Tylenol probably gives brain worms a rash or something like that.

The man said become ungovernable!

Put it in spiders and then put yourself in those spiders for cool powers.

Didn’t know we needed an Albanian minister AI that keeps diverting funds into Adidas sweat pants and Mercedes Benz cars even though it doesn’t have a body.

Wouldn’t even be surprised if vietnamese use scientific methods to test the authenticity of the rhino horn in a lab to then proceed and ignore all scientific evidence that it doesn’t do shit to treat their hangover.