2 its just right

How weird was that first proper shit when it started working properly down there, I forgot how a solid shit was supposed to feel, thought I was being attacked.

Maybe there’s a reason people keep shooting Kennedys.

I don’t know, ask Jeffery Dahmer.

Lol, you could say your comment was a factoid.

I hope you’re ok with waiting for a long time, dansup sure as fuck takes his time with everything.

Reginald Malcom Alfredo Montgomery Johnson Spyro the VIII

The pope’s wife was Jesus.

Fuck, they found me! Better go back out for some milk.

But lieutenant Dayan, you aint got no legs!

In the original draft, Jesus was supposed to be an anthropomorphic chocolate throwing rabbit, but the writer was forced to change him to be human for marketing reasons.

Kids: Dad, there’s no Easter eggs outside.

Me coked out of my mind: *Sniffing erratically* REALLY THATS CRAZY DID YOU KNOW IN 1951 THE CIA LACED THE DRINKING WATER OF THE FRENCH TOWN OF POINT SAINT-ESPRIT WITH PSYCHEDELICS WHICH MADE THE RESIDENTS HALLUCINATE SHIT AND THEN BLAMED IT ON MOLDY BREAD!

Dude goes on a 3 day bender 2000 years ago so now I gotta hide chocolate eggs in my backyard and pretend a mutant diabetes inducing rabbit put them there.

That’s a supermodel compared to her.

Being a bitch.

Just bluntslide your way down it!

I’M FINALLY FREE! FUCK Y’ALL IM OUTTA HERE!

No worries mate, anytime!

I don’t dream, I just go to sleep and then wake up to my alarm screaming at me as if no time has passed.