Sometimes I just sigh and think to myself, gosh, I wish life wasn’t so turgid and veiny with a huge bulbous head and pre-cum dripping down the shaft.

1. Hit head on desk.
2. If image persists, return to step 1.

Rimocracy

Man. I so feel this. I’m 51 and started programming when I was 10. It’s not anything like it used to be. I miss those days.

Octopus Launcher has been great so far!

Is the middle prong not for perineum stimulation?

For me, this was the post.

Double oopsie! Your driver delivering flowers to your other driver was in an accident! Would you like to deliver flowers to the driver who was delivering flowers?

My dog barks at the fireworks. I’m pretty sure if we got her a jet pack she would fly up there to kick some ass.

It’s not a joke. I’m not personally into it, but a few people enjoy it.

Did you know your urethra can also taste spicy? Try sounding a Thai chili pepper!

Cocktails are $20 a pop. Hell, mocktails are like $15 a pop and they don’t contain alcohol.

You say “have to”. I say “get to”.

My cat Rocky fetched those, too! Also a jingle ball cat toy.

Bigfoot got some cake

Hamsters? No. Gerbils? Possibly.

But what if the Wall People don’t approve of you because you won’t fart into other peoples’ mouths?

This is the opposite of celebrated, but the Uranverein program could have resulted in a German atomic bomb during WW2. Fortunately it didn’t work out.