Thanks to the power of memes, lemons are canonically summonable

JFK’s head spontaneously exploded with no explanation. The government quickly found some local bum, framed him and then shot him before he could say anything, to manufacture the idea of an assassination, because the alternative—that anyone’s head could spontaneously explode at any time for no reason—would cause mass panic and a collapse of the economy.

Given that the USSR built its first toilet paper factory in the 1970s, I suspect they’d endure the lack of supply.

If he were to turn around and begin the long, hard process of undoing whatever he can of the harm he has done and trying to be a force for good, then he’d have a chance of redeeming himself. Though I suspect he’s too inherently narcissistic for that to be a possibility.

Hope his cats find a good home

Under fascism, if you’re not from a scapegoat minority, you still get to practice your religion, and if you know your place and stay out of things that aren’t your business (such as political questions, lofty ideas about human rights, or why a new family suddenly moved into the Rosenzweigs’ house across the street), you get to keep what you have, and if you’re lucky, you might even get some slaves.

If you accept that society is pyramid-shaped, it’s easy to accept ideas such as a “bottom 80%” (the hideous peasants who do all the jobs you wouldn’t touch) and to imagine oneself as in the “top 20%” if you have a comfortable home, don’t go hungry and have enough to treat yourself to discretionary luxuries like a Netflix subscription. Yes, the private-jet class may be far above you, but your little perch on the side of the pyramid keeps you out of most of the muck.

Those streets with slow children playing should be relatively safe if there’s not much chance of them suddenly running out in front of a car

If he can hold on until the French and/or German elections, he can flip a big chunk of NATO.

Good on you for building it yourself and not just prompting a chatbot to make something and taking credit.

Also US military slang for something going catastrophically wrong, from “fucked up, got ambushed, zipped in”

Is this vibe-coded?

That’s an Apple Newton; false alarm

Also, surely there’s no way the American people would vote for Trump twice

What if you had a whole village of Gropecunte Lane?

Guinea Cucumbers

Needs more McCarthyism. They should have some dark insinuations of “Marxist ideology” behind complaints about Mars bars shrinking and some references to bread queues and gulags in the USSR, to remind people how insignificant their problems are.

Where’s Jefferson Davis? Surely in his worldview, he’d count as more of a real president than Obama.

All those cops who live on Staten Island would be part of it, presumably