

It’s a double joke, it’s literally an adaptation of a Russian meme of “I is simple Russian worker Ivan from city Tver, we very respect mighty jade rod comrade Xi, every week we discuss achievements of Chinese leader and communist party, a hit”, roughly translating the grammar.
https://pikabu.ru/story/ya_prostoy_rabochiy_ivan_iz_gorod_tver_8094383
^that kind




Technically the Baltic fleet was in Soviet times the most respected part of the navy. With Riga and Tallinn being capitals of other nations, that’s a bit less pronounced now, but coast guard and missile cruisers and marines are still important forces to have.
No, they made a deal with his beheading and allahuakbaring successors. Not sure how good a deal, but apparently the other side upholds it for now.
Honestly this is not as important as it seems. Russia doesn’t have the kind of ships to use global logistics and network of good ports as a system of power projection. Air carriers, all that. While Bosphorus is not such a big deal, of course it’s leverage, but Turkey does let Russian ships out and back.
And Vladivostok, despite being for Russia efficiently as if on another continent, is a warm water port with good location, and used as such, including militarily.
Your judgement in some way shows the same bias as you named.