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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 3rd, 2023

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  • Say four guys are sitting in a bar having a sports argument—talking about the upcoming college football playoffs, say. They begin by agreeing that Ohio State is the favorite because it is currently ranked number one in the polls, which it in fact is.

    But one of them says: No, Texas A&M is number one. The other three look at him like he’s insane. They reach for their phones, they tap, tap, tap, and they show him the rankings. But he keeps insisting. Those polls are fake. It’s Texas A&M. Everybody says so.

    The conversation stalls. The liar has “won” the argument. Not in the sense that he is factually correct; he is not. But he has won in two senses. First, he has shut down what might have been a rational, interesting, spirited debate that proceeded from shared factual premises. Second, he has forced the other three to waste time and mental energy debating a proposition that is not remotely up for debate, and in the process has succeeded in making himself the center of attention and controversy whom everyone else talks about.

    Sounds like they should remove the liar from the bar. Maybe not beat the shit out of him and leave him in a sobbing pile of piss and vomit in the back alleyway, but certainly not just letting it slide.

    Liars and such get by because people are too polite to do anything about it. This goes for other bad behavior, too.

    Someone in my extended friend group got a divorce, and her ex-husband started acting like a creeper. He was bothering the other women in the group. Eventually, another dude in the group pulled him aside and said if he doesn’t behave, he can’t hang out with them anymore. The guy didn’t change, and now he’s out of the friend group.

    Of course, there’s so many shitty maga-hats that maybe he went and found a new group of misogynists .


  • This is very heteronormative and gender binaried. Queer people exist and date.

    That said, anecdotally, from the handful of women I’ve talked about this with: many don’t like making first moves on these apps.

    Using dating apps is a skill, and if you haven’t been practicing sending messages you’re going to be bad at it. The vast majority of first messages I got from women were “hey”. Trash tier. Probably because they just haven’t done it very often.