Some strains of weed

Blood and smoke

Unburnt Cigarettes

Gasoline

Dirt

These last two paragraphs are poetry

I mean yeah, stigmatizing an entire group of people over their shared mental illnesses, illnesses usually brought on by severe childhood neglect and trauma, just because there are there are vile public figures or people you may know personally that also fit the description definitely rubs me the wrong way.

Don’t get me wrong, there are loads of horrible people with cluster b disorders, just like there are loads without. The bad ones should absolutely be called out for their shitty behaviors, but the readiness to villainize people over a general description doesn’t help anything but your own ego and only ostracizes the ones that actually do take accountability.

I’m sure you could guess but I have a cluster b disorder myself (bpd) and the way the media portrays us, doctors brush off and ignore us seeking help, and the way people just LOVE to group all of us in with the worst of them is draining and damaging to those of us who genuinely just want help, try to do good for those around them, and are just trying to live their lives in peace.

Hatred is hatred, replace the words “cluster b” with “trans folk” or “black people” and you might see what I’m talking about. Instead of beating down on these shit politicians for having mental illnesses, maybe beat down on them for being the fascists they are.

No, no I don’t say that. Just like I don’t assume everyone with adhd is going to yell “squirrel” in the middle of a sentence.

It’s belittling and ableist to presume having a cluster b disorder precludes someone from being able to partake in acts of personal accountability.

You know there’s more to cluster b than just narcissism right?

Not everyone with a cluster b disorder is incapable of admitting fault.

Alive 2007 is a masterpiece, right up there with it for me is Justice - across the universe

Some other notable favorites for me.

Bridge over troubled water - Aretha franklin - live at the Filmore west

I wish I knew how it feels to be free - Nina Simone - the montreux years

Momma look a boo boo Dey - lord melody - having trouble finding the right album but live versions are considerably better

Lagrimas Negras - many artists, not sure who did it originally- Cuba Feliz live

For necessary I always think 1 collar, 2 sleeves. This has rattled through my head every time I’ve spelled it the last 20 or so years at this point.

Now if only I could remember it’s different not differant 😣

I see an Altima, I give them their space. Not trying to have my car missing a bumper too.

Availability and price with vary depending on what’s available near you but Toyota Camry, Toyota corolla, Chevy Cruze, Chevy cavalier, Honda accord, Mazda 3 are all great cars reasonably within your price range.

Avoid Volkswagen, Audi, bmw… German cars will run a long time if they’re well taken care of but they’re total money pits (I drive a vw gti and love it but even basic maintenance and repairs are expensive)

Avoid subaru for the same reason.

Honda and Toyota engines run a long time, even with poor maintenance but take care to keep up with maintenance and they will run forever.

Old fords are great, new fords not so much. Dodge makes engines built to die. Most modern trucks have catastrophic engine issues.

Avoid anything that came out after 2017, touch screens, capacitive touch, and other ‘luxary’ electronics are prone to fail and become expensive nuisances. AWD, cvt transmissions, and anything that turns the engine off when you come to a stop will come with expensive maintenance and repairs.

Ask about service history, ask if the timing belt or water pump have ever been changed, get a carfax or auto check report (cars with accidents will be cheaper but come with hidden issues), ask how far their average commute is (the longer the commute the better, short drives don’t let the engines warm up properly).

Look at the condition of the tires, look for even gaps where the body panels meet, turn the wheel all the way and check out the suspension and underneath the car for any serious rust (in Canada, everything is going to have rust, but you don’t want to see any cracks or chunky build up), after it’s warmed up listen for any ticks, chirps, knocks, or grinding noises. Look for water stains in the headliner.

Don’t be afraid to look a little above your price range and negotiate down, people want money, but lots of people just want to get the car off their hands.

Get something as close to or under 100,000 miles as you can but most importantly, get something you feel good in.

… not much.

My romantic life is painful and turbulent at best. My job is collapsing because of the tariffs. I owe too much on my car to keep it if I lose my job and it needs a new clutch anyways, which is about $3000 that I don’t have for the cheap one. Family is distant, cold, and unsupportive. My government is doing its best to make life (as a trans person) as painful as possible. Best friend died last year, my only other friend has just kinda fallen off the face of the earth. My hobbies are frustrating and unfulfilling. I have vivid nightmares nightly. My body is deteriorating to the point of near disability. I eat the same shitty $5 chicken sandwhich every day. Insurance won’t cover therapy and suicide seems more and more likely by the day.

My coffee was warm this morning though so, I guess I’ve got that going for me today.

Unfortunately, they’ve made getting a passport prohibitively difficult for trans folks who have already changed their gender markers so even if countries were accepting trans asylum seekers (most aren’t) getting to and across the border has excess difficulties beyond convincing another country that your life and liberty are threatened.

Plus, by the time countries do start accepting asylum seekers it’ll be too late, boarder patrol will be detaining people before they’ll have a chance to cross.

When I worked in kitchens and bars? Regularly

Now, driving a forklift and using a nail gun every day… I’ll wait till I get home

“It only ever ends once, everything before that is just progress” -Jacob from lost lol

How am I stuck in the country?

My government won’t issue me a passport.

Aside from the extreme financial and planning difficulties involved with emigrating, It’s exceedingly difficult for trans individuals to get a passport right now. The department of state has been destroying identity documents of anyone who is currently or has previously requested an official gender change and they are not providing any recourse or remedy to the issue.

Just a “please leave or you will be arrested” when asked what can I do to get a passport…

Ahh, the ol’ breaker breaker

Only $28.00 on Amazon!

Damn… you’re saying I can only choose 50 of my closest friends?

Minecraft!