My god! I wish I could upvote this masterpiece more than once.

Congrats to you both. Remember to keep this sense of humor and laugh together often this first year of your kid’s life.

Welcome to the club.

It is permanent.

A threat?! Now I feel…cornered.

Peak Lemmy. We need beans also.

I have an air popper <3

It’s my kid’s first Christmas and I didn’t see the point but my spouse insisted…so the compromise was 2 discounted toys totaling $20 usd.

I grew up in a large family so we had shared gifts. I don’t know how to navigate this if I only have one without spoiling. It makes me slightly uncomfortable.

Daddy would like some sausage

Alright alright alright

Looks like a good branch manager to me.

This is the only reasonable answer.

Name checks out

What’s wrong with you?! Taco Bell is more newsworthy! Get your priorities straight. /s

Name checks out ^

Glad you wrote who the lady is. I had no idea. This almost whooshed over my head.

As kids, my brothers and I would wait for the public snowplow to clear the road and would dig tunnels in the piles they created…typical gross kids. We had to take our snow gear off at the entryway of the (military) housing unit we lived in so it didn’t matter. It was fun.

Name checks out

Gotta be fresh

Reminds me of Pizza the Hutt. Well done.