That’s what all the crazy ones say.

The day after: “Republicans break pinky swear – “No one could have seen this coming” says Fetterman; Democrats sigh, throw up their hands, and collectively go ‘whaddayagonnadoaboutit?’; Schumer writes strongly worded letter.”

I am so goddamn tired of having to vote for the least awful choice instead of even a decent choice. Compared to the literal snake oil sales king of TV, almost anyone else looks good – but we can see how that’s worked out.

That’s an insult to President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho, and you will speak of that fictional moron with respect. He was still a leader that wanted the best for his countrymen, and knew well enough to defer to the smartest man in the room. That’s about as far from Trump as you can get in terms of “vibes”.

I choose to blame the stroke.

Actual, factual brain damage is no joke, and there was a reason he won the election he was in. He was genuinely not insane/traitorous before his stroke.

The more cynical option is that he was always like this and merely wanted to screw over the leftists of Pennsylvania by running under a D ticket, but frankly I think brain damage from stroke leading to sudden onset fascist sympathies is both more likely (brain damage can have really fucking weird effects) and way funnier in a certain context

Dealing with that level of performative bullshit is genuinely agonizing to me. LinkedIn is like my idea of personal hell – everyone, everywhere, up their own ass and completely full of shit, all the time – and I have resolved to never have a net worth or job title that would necessitate using it.

What about the mass of the ass, beauty of the cutie, direction of the erection, dimension of the extension, the motion of the ocean and the size of the rise? All factors must be accounted for and kept in perfect balance in relation to one another, you can’t just give half the formula and then ask the rest of us to extrapolate.

I give it two weeks before they cave. Three tops.

Negatory, if Jesus had returned to Earth he’d be flipping over the resolute desk and chasing – sorry, anointing – Trump with a whip.

Don’t forget the stare of disappointment Schumer surely gave everyone over his glasses. I’m sure that’ll show 'em all.

Could they suggest something else instead?

It should speak volumes that nothing scares the GOP and the FCC more than someone from Texas preaching actual Christian values on national television instead of using the bible as a weapon for hate.

Florida of the North strikes again. This is the sort of shit I fully expect to come out of Ohio.

I, too, remember candleja

IT’S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL, IS IT STEVE?

Boris sounds like a cool guy, I wish I had a Boris.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Not to mention, fully consenting Latinas! I know “not being a rapist” is a really low bar to clear, but for a wealthy, male, politically-connected American in 2026? Fantastic. Wonderful. Groundbreaking.

there’s a reason that branch of the military is reported to have a favorite flavor of crayon.

Ah, yes, as opposed to what – the many distinguished intellectuals of this administration?

… Right.